I am playing the waiting game...which has surprisingly been ok. The bulk of my waiting since I had my face to face interview has coincided with some pretty major life events and so I have had very little time to dwell on Peace Corps.
After my interview 3 weeks ago the recruiter said that we still had a few questions we needed to go over that the 1 hour slot she had had for me in Minneapolis didn't allow us to get to. She said she would be in touch within a week to set up a follow up interview. I followed up with her instead at the two week mark after my interview and we have a phone interview set up for later this week. I am nervous but not for any of the reasons I thought I would be.
To be perfectly honest, I do not remember any of my first interview. I can't remember what questions were asked, what I asked my recruiter, what we still had left to go over, how it went etc. This makes me nervous because I feel like it will be impossible to simply pick up and keep going naturally. Instead I am likely to repeat myself...ask questions I have already asked, etc. which I feel is bad form in an interview.
I do however, feel like I have yet again evaluated my desire for Peace Corps and have a more concrete understanding of how I would react if one of those unlikely "what if" situations came up in real life. For example what if someone you loved passed away during service...what if someone you love ends up in the hospital...what if someone you love really needs you.
The day before my face to face interview my surrogate mother, closest friend, and mentor (not to mention personal reference for the Peace Corps) was in a major car accident along with her children who I took care of for 10 years. The kids are ok but my friend suffered a traumatic brain injury on top of numerous broken bones and injuries. The past 3 weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions as we simply play a game of wait and see...wait and see if she will wake up...wait and see if she will recognize us when she does...wait and see if she can talk...wait and see if the person we all know and love is still in there...
Its a roller coaster of trying to maintain hope, moments of realism, and mourning the loss of someone who is still in fact alive. Needless to say Peace Corps has dropped on my list of metal priorities at the moment...yet at the same time it has made me really think about what if this had happened a year from now as I would potentially be starting service.
I still feel the same way that I felt a month ago that I should not rule out Peace Corps just because something could happen...however, I also recognize now that something really could. Or that my friend and her family may still need my support a year from now.
These are all things I am carrying with me as I prep for my phone interview and I don't even really know how to fully process them or begin to be able to articulate the fact that I am still very interested in, excited about, and committed to the Peace Corps process...when that may not be the tone that comes across because I can not help but think about my friend when I think about Peace Corps. Its a byproduct of knowing that she is the person who knows the most about my desire to join Peace Corps and knowing that the reference letter she wrote is one of the last things she did prior to her accident.
And that is my word vomit update for the day...
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